What 'One Hit Wonder' Are You Based On Your Astrological Sign?

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Today is National One-Hit Wonder Day! Some genius made a list of which one-hit wonder fits you best based on your zodiac sign . Here's the rundown:

 

 

Aries:  "Cum on Feel the Noize",  Quiet Riot: "Aries folk are about as subtle as a piñata full of ball gags . . . [This song is] an in-your-face, fist-pumping banger that begs for more and more, and then delivers."

 

 

Taurus:  "In the Summertime",  Mungo Jerry: "Taureans live by the pleasure principle, and this song celebrates all manner of earthly delights . . . The opening grunts even sound like lazy sex, the preferred pursuit of bulls."

 

 

Gemini:  "Informer",  Snow: "Gemini finds their spirit mirrored in a fast-spitting song that is as maddeningly likable as it is utterly incomprehensible . . . and with their penchant for word vomit, Geminis make up a large swath of snitches."

 

 

Cancer:  "Cake by the Ocean",  DNCE: "Invokes the crab tenants of intimacy, sidestepping the point, emotional eating and the familiar comforts of seaside environs."

 

 

Leo:  "I'm Too Sexy",  Right Said Fred: "No one has ever accused a Leo of modesty, and 'I'm Too Sexy' is an eye-roll anthem of superiority and self-worship."

 

 

Virgo:  "Dance Monkey",  Tones and I: "Virgo is prone to hyper-focused monkey behavior, doing weird, repetitive, and completely obstinate things in a signature way."

 

 

Libra:  "Smooth Criminal",  Alien Ant Farm: "[Libras are] so good at being charming charlatans that you almost want to thank them for robbing you."

 

 

Scorpio:  "Hit 'Em Up Style",  Blu Cantrell: "Scorpio is the sign of sex, death and other people’s money. This banger extolls the bitter joys of literal payback, punishing a cheating partner with financial ruin."

 

 

Sagittarius:  "Tubthumping",  Chumbawamba: "Sagittarius is the sign of the eternal optimist and the pursuit of having a good time all of the time."

 

 

Capricorn:  "Black Velvet",  Alannah Myles: "Sung by a Capricorn about a Capricorn, [it's] an ode to Elvis Presley. Ruled by taskmaster Saturn and represented by the devil tarot card, Capricorn is the sign of leather and legacy."

 

 

Aquarius:  "Blue (Da Ba Dee)",  Eiffel 65: "Aquarius flies the flag of the misunderstood, and listening to this song . . . feels a little like freebasing Fruity Pebbles and a whole lot like an Aquarius writing a memoir."

 

 

Pisces:  "Because I Got High",  Afroman: "Pisces is the sign of altered states and pastel oblivion, and Afroman's anthem of 'all that could have been if he hadn't said yes to excess.' speaks to [that] escapist spirit."

 

 

(New York Post)


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