When the person you are in a relationship with seems to be extremely volatile and immature, chances are you are dating a teenager in an adult’s body.
Quite a ghastly thing. It is particularly devious because at first glance you could not know that the man, or woman, with whom you are speaking is in fact a teen. Why not?
To start, they are generally well into their twenties, sometimes even in their thirties and beyond. Secondly, when first meeting these individuals, one often finds them charming. There is something exciting about their spontaneity and naivete.
This magnetism has lured many an otherwise level-headed adult into a romantic relationship with the teenager in an adult body (let’s use TIAAB for short).
Here are the major signs to look for when determining TIAAB status:
1. Everything is a crisis and dramatic action needs to be taken immediately.
The emotional life of your significant other resembles a pinball bouncing from one crisis to another. The boss giving someone else a promotion is a calamity because it signals some unfair preference (not the fact that the promoted employee worked longer hours and performed better).
The TIAAB response is, “I might just quit. Let them see how well the business runs without me!”
A friend not returning a telephone call creates anger and despair because it demonstrates mean-spirited insensitivity. The solution: “I’m cutting them off. I don’t need a friend like that!”
2. They live by the unspoken belief that “If you do not agree with me, you are a very bad person.”
Some creative types will also let you know that by not agreeing with them you are “being hurtful.” Or, better yet, “Your words are a form of violence against me.”
If you are a novice at dealing with the TIAAB, you might respond by trying to show you meant no harm. For penitence, you end up cooking a special meal, doing all the grocery shopping for a week or two, and cleaning the house so well it would make Martha Stewart blush.
3. Disagreements are frequent.
And not relegated to just the important issues of life, but even the minor ones. You are expected to apologize in every case because, well, because you are always wrong.
The TIAAB requires total capitulation, capped with a heartfelt apology.
4. Your partner wears the role of the victim like a comfortable old coat.
You may find yourself impressed with how often the victim role crops up in your relationship with the TIAAB. He or she ends up being a victim of co-workers, extended family, and on occasion the neighbor’s cat. Because your partner is a victim, he or she requires your sole attention and unlimited support. Conveniently, the victim mantel can also be used as a means to forego normal adult obligations.
5. Feelings are everything.
In the world of the TIAAB, if it feels good, “Go for it!” Emotions drive behavior. When the tendency to blindly follow feelings leads to heartache the TIAAB laments, “No one could possibly have seen how it would all turn out this way.”
6. Just wanting something is tantamount to deserving the thing that is desired.
This has some interesting consequences: cars, clothing, electronics, jewelry, vacations, and much else are purchased because they are deserved. The precise basis upon which these items are “deserved” is seldom spelled out.
This might be that pivotal moment that you realize there is no way to have a mature relationship with this person.
Full Story Here... and good luck - you deserve a grown up!