What 'One Hit Wonder' Are You Based On Your Astrological Sign?

Berlin, GERMANY: The British band Right Said Fred performs during the so-called "Fan Party" in front of Berlin's Brandenburger Gate 07 June 2006, which will usher in the 2006 FIFA Football World Cup which takes place in Germany from 09 June to 09 July. (JOHN MACDOUGALL/AFP via Getty Images)

Photo: JOHN MACDOUGALL / AFP / Getty Images

 

Today is National One-Hit Wonder Day! Some genius made a list of which one-hit wonder fits you best based on your zodiac sign . Here's the rundown:

 

 

Aries:  "Cum on Feel the Noize",  Quiet Riot: "Aries folk are about as subtle as a piñata full of ball gags . . . [This song is] an in-your-face, fist-pumping banger that begs for more and more, and then delivers."

 

 

Taurus:  "In the Summertime",  Mungo Jerry: "Taureans live by the pleasure principle, and this song celebrates all manner of earthly delights . . . The opening grunts even sound like lazy sex, the preferred pursuit of bulls."

 

 

Gemini:  "Informer",  Snow: "Gemini finds their spirit mirrored in a fast-spitting song that is as maddeningly likable as it is utterly incomprehensible . . . and with their penchant for word vomit, Geminis make up a large swath of snitches."

 

 

Cancer:  "Cake by the Ocean",  DNCE: "Invokes the crab tenants of intimacy, sidestepping the point, emotional eating and the familiar comforts of seaside environs."

 

 

Leo:  "I'm Too Sexy",  Right Said Fred: "No one has ever accused a Leo of modesty, and 'I'm Too Sexy' is an eye-roll anthem of superiority and self-worship."

 

 

Virgo:  "Dance Monkey",  Tones and I: "Virgo is prone to hyper-focused monkey behavior, doing weird, repetitive, and completely obstinate things in a signature way."

 

 

Libra:  "Smooth Criminal",  Alien Ant Farm: "[Libras are] so good at being charming charlatans that you almost want to thank them for robbing you."

 

 

Scorpio:  "Hit 'Em Up Style",  Blu Cantrell: "Scorpio is the sign of sex, death and other people’s money. This banger extolls the bitter joys of literal payback, punishing a cheating partner with financial ruin."

 

 

Sagittarius:  "Tubthumping",  Chumbawamba: "Sagittarius is the sign of the eternal optimist and the pursuit of having a good time all of the time."

 

 

Capricorn:  "Black Velvet",  Alannah Myles: "Sung by a Capricorn about a Capricorn, [it's] an ode to Elvis Presley. Ruled by taskmaster Saturn and represented by the devil tarot card, Capricorn is the sign of leather and legacy."

 

 

Aquarius:  "Blue (Da Ba Dee)",  Eiffel 65: "Aquarius flies the flag of the misunderstood, and listening to this song . . . feels a little like freebasing Fruity Pebbles and a whole lot like an Aquarius writing a memoir."

 

 

Pisces:  "Because I Got High",  Afroman: "Pisces is the sign of altered states and pastel oblivion, and Afroman's anthem of 'all that could have been if he hadn't said yes to excess.' speaks to [that] escapist spirit."

 

 

(New York Post)


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